Week Four: Brian B. Baker

Do you have a vice? Write about it here.

When we think about vices, the human mind can stray into addiction. We think of alcoholism, drug abuse or other things.

Vice is a practice, behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a defect, an infirmity, or merely a bad habit.

Using the latter definition, we see that a fault, or defect is a vice. A defect of who we are. These defects are like a fungus that can grow and infect the rest of our lives, and those around us.

The defect which has been hardest to deal with is alcoholism. I find myself reaching for a bottle when I’m stressed, excited or celebratory.  It can be beer, which is the largest form of alcoholism abuse in America, but it’s the harder stuff that I use.

Scotch found its way into my life, at times devastating me and, sometimes those around me. I try to think that it’s not there, but it’s constantly staring me in the face.

I work as a bartender, I see alcohol abused every day, but I don’t think about it like that, no addict does.

I’ve thought of using AA, but I’m not Christian, and most of their uses of the God diagram for recovery doesn’t fit for me because of I’m Buddhist and don’t believe in God.

My wife has helped me through times when the bottle has become my friend more than she is, and I thank her for saving my life numerous times.

Discovering a path to freedom, and being addiction free is what I strive for when I’m meditating or thinking about my recovery.

I love drinking, but it has done things to me I don’t like. Among these are weight gain, depression, marriage issues and knowing alcoholism runs in my family.

My biggest fear is my kids will inherit this by watching me. That is why I struggle with it. Alcoholism is a defect in my genetic code.

I never thought I would say these words online, I’m Brian B Baker and I’m a recovering alcoholic.

____________________

Brian B. Baker is an unpublished writer of Science Fiction/Fantasy and Horror. He’s been writing short stories since high school, and is certain it’s one of the few things that keeps him sane. Brian blogs at  The Bleeding Inkwell.

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5 thoughts on “Week Four: Brian B. Baker

  1. Proud of you Brian! Your mom has the weakness also & this is why I try to stay away from it. And yes I do believe some of us are more prone..

  2. Pingback: Thursday’s Voice: Week Four

  3. Pingback: Week Fifty: Brian B. Baker | The Today Voice

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