Week Thirteen: Amanda Kasper

How old were you when you had your first kiss?

In the Jewish community, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade is consumed with spending weekends at the Bar and Bat Mitzvah’s of your friends and family and fellow Hebrew school graduates. The very first Bat Mitzvah I attended, I had just turned twelve. I think I was wearing lipgloss, and given that it was 1998, I’m fairly certain I was wearing a dress with a shear overlay and awkward chunk low heels with a strap of sorts. I only new one other girl at the event besides the honoree, and so we stayed together most of the time.

When the DJ encouraged us to get out on the dance floor, the music changed from upbeat (think YMCA or the Electric Slide) to slow, and we found ourselves quickly scanning the others to find a partner.

To be honest, I don’t remember the name of the boy I danced with. I do remember he was wearing a blue striped dress shirt, and he was a little taller than I was. When the song was over, we wandered into the lobby of the hotel where the event was being held. We sat somewhere and talked for a bit, and then he kissed me. I’m quite sure there was no tongue, and I’m positive I was not expecting it. As someone who was self conscious, too mature, and nerdy at times, at 12, I hadn’t been thinking about my first kiss. But, there it was, happening, while my pre-teen mind raced.

We exchanged numbers (please note, this was home phone numbers, where our parents answered the phone, because cell phones were actually just car phones mounted in the car and huge and not cool), and went back to the party, occasionally smiling at each other.

He called that night… and tragically, told me it wouldn’t work out for us to get together again. I don’t remember the reason, I just remember feeling sad, kind of like I threw my first kiss away.

Today, I just look back and smile, for every girl should have a simple first kiss. One that she appreciates, one that she remembers. In truth, I’m grateful for the ending too for even 14 years later, it has made me extremely contemplative of who I will kiss.


Amanda Kasper is a writer, reader, quote lover, CASA advocate, and non-profit believer, seeking space as a lifelong learner, passionate lover, and irreplaceable friend. Amanda tweets at @AKasper513 and blogs over at “& this I believe”


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