This week’s prompt was suggested by Friday’s Voice Amanda Kasper:
Why do you write?
I write to process and try to make sense of my life.
I write to share about my experience with secondary infertility and loss.
I write to reach out to and connect with others who are learning to cope and find joy when life doesn’t go as we hope, dream or plan (whether due to infertility, loss, illness and/or other circumstances).
I write because at this time in my life it is one of the ways that I prefer to express myself. When I was younger that is how I felt about photography, dance and choreography.
I wish I had more time to write, as I have so many things I would like to say and share, but there never seem to be enough hours in my days.
I write because sometimes I can’t help myself.
I want to write.
I need to write.
I love to write.
I appreciate receiving feedback about what I write. It means so much to me when someone compliments my writing. I also respect when others give me constructive criticism about how to improve what I write. I am always trying to improve my craft and become a better writer.
I didn’t use to love to write. But something changed inside of me, around the same time that our baby girl Molly was born and died.
I began writing on my blog as a way to keep some of our family and close friends who had shown us, through their love and support that they wanted to share in our journey trying to expand our family.
I kept writing through the rest of our journey trying to build our family. This included the birth and death of our daughter Molly. I wrote about my family and my grief work after she died. Eventually I also wrote about our pregnancy with and the delivery of our “rainbow baby” Abigail, which was both exciting and scary, considering our past experience with multiple early pregnancy losses and infant death.
I continue to write, despite the fact that we are no longer trying to expand our family.
I have learned through writing that we are always living through times of transition and uncertainty. Writing helps me to make peace with and even embrace ambiguity.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” ~ Gilda Radner
Why do you write?
Kathy Benson is a bereaved and blessed mom, writer and group fitness instructor trying to live mindfully and find joy in the journey after dealing with secondary infertility and loss for five years. She lives in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and two living children.