Week Twenty-three: Amanda Kasper

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Write about anything

Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won’t be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it’s only in the black of night you see the stars.

And those stars will lead you back home. So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most.

Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you.

The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.

Have you ever chased something, knowing that elusively, it waited somewhere in the distant future? Maybe it was finding a girlfriend, or having a baby; landing the perfect job, making a comfortable living, moving into your dream house. Maybe it was being of ideal health, earning strong friendships, or saving those who were struggling that you were seeking.

What do you do in the moment that you realize the road has changed? That what you sought out for is different than what you want, or worse, than what you need?

This year I’ve learned a great deal of life lessons, but this one, it happens to be the most crucial, the most centered, the most important. Each of us has a story. One that is deeply rooted in sentiment and emotion, one that involves people who have helped, people who have hurt, people who have failed us or strengthened us at every single turn. Our roads impact others, and others impact our roads.

But at the end of the day, what we are reaching for, what we are chasing, it’s on us. It may be motivated by the boy who cheated on us and broke our once fragile heart. It may be shifted by the dissolution of our childhood. By the friend who took and took and took and walked away before it was really time to give. Tragedy does that. Loss of health, loss of friendships, loss of relationships, loss of life – they change us deeply and profoundly.

We have each gone through moments or seasons where our identities have felt masked by situations or circumstances or people. But on the brink of the holidays, in reflection and hope, I ask you to sit down with me and reconsider. Revisit the pieces of yourself you have hidden away for safe keeping. The pieces you have adapted in the present, and whether or not you’d like to keep them in the future. The pieces that feel missing, broken, needing of love and attention and nurturing.

The truth is, the things we were chasing may be different now. They may not yet be what we want or thought we wanted. They may feel awkward, uncomfortable, foreign.

The road is overwhelming, especially when your car has broken down, it’s storming outside, and you are sitting on the side of the road, alone in the dark.

But this year, I’m asking you to keep going. I’m asking you to look up, and see the stars in the sky. I’m asking you to keep chasing – for when we’re reaching after something, anything, it gives us purpose. It gives us intention.

It gives us a reason to stay alive.

________

Amanda Kasper is a writer, reader, quote lover, CASA advocate, and non-profit believer, seeking space as a lifelong learner, passionate lover, and irreplaceable friend. Amanda tweets at @AKasper513 and blogs over at “& this I believe”

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