Week Forty-four: Amanda Kasper

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What is the one thing that would be a relationship breaker for you?

“If you’ve lived through it, you already know there are no words

that will ever come close to describing it,

and if you didn’t – you will never understand.”

..Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller..

I’ve lived a lot of life in my nearly 27 years on this planet. I’ve seen and heard and felt quite a bit. I’ve experienced the type of loss I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I’ve fought battles that I honestly never thought I would win. But here I am, standing here, still reaching for my dreams, despite the obstacles and challenges and changes which have mitigated and modified my every step, every movement, every everything since the day they began.

I think at this point in my life, the most important thing in a relationship would be a deep and profound level of understanding – one that is only attained by living and breathing the types of struggles I’ve seen and heard and felt. I think that my ability to connect to someone who has yet to experience loss, or fear, or the need for unprecedented courage, would be minimal. For, the challenges I have faced are, at least for the time being, saddled up next to me, part of me, part of the package I have become. Without being able to understand that, understand the ways in which this year and these obstacles have changed me, a relationship could never work. It’s just not possible. The level of intimacy, of emotional connection, would be missing; for the parts of my story are so deeply the parts of who I am.

____________________

Amanda Kasper is a writer, reader, quote lover, CASA advocate, and non-profit believer, seeking space as a lifelong learner, passionate lover, and irreplaceable friend. Amanda tweets at @AKasper513 and blogs over at “& this I believe”

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